Memories are wonderful things, but do not dwell on the past. Plan for tomorrow, live for today.
Before you can tell people what you want, you have to know what you want. Have you considered all of your options and evaluated each possible path that lies before you? In order to live the life that you love, you must first understand your passions, interests and desires. What is essential and what is extraneous? What can you live without? What can't you live without? Make a list of all the things that inspire you and begin to build a mental picture of the future.
You don't have to like everyone you work with. Maintain your professional attitude and don't stoop to their level.