You are not necessarily defined by what you did in the past. People can change.
You're hesitating and not moving forward. Why is that? You'll have to give yourself an honest evaluation of the situation, including your own mental or psychological state. Try looking at it this way: if you don't do anything, and just choose to keep moving along in the same direction, what is the best you could hope for? Now, is that going to be good enough for you or do you want more?
Your energy is important. Make sure that you get enough sleep and exercise. It will make a big difference to your working day.