Don't close the door to your own happiness. Don't let bashfulness or shyness stop you from enjoying your well deserved riches.
Letting go of the past will bring great benefits as you move forward into a newer, happier place in life. Your life is rich and plentiful, and the future shines like a fiery orange dawn. Be happy. You're finally free.
Seek out someone who knows and understands your current situation and learn from their wisdom and experience.